Today is Memorial Day...a U.S. holiday in which we remember all of the people who have served or currently serve in our country's armed forces and risk their lives in war. This picture is a picture of my beloved poppa when he served in the U.S. Army. Memorial Day is also a special time when many families honor the memory of their loved ones who have passed away. This Memorial Day has been a little difficult for me as it is my first Memorial Day without my poppa. We were very close. I loved him beyond all the words that could ever be written or spoken. This weekend, I've thought about last year's Memorial Day and how we had dad with us. It's so hard to believe that he was just with us this time last year and now he's not.
I live in Lewistown, PA. In a neighboring small town called McVeytown, every saturday during Memorial Day weekend, this little town holds an event called "Country Memories Day." Many craft and food vendors from all over set up their booths along the streets of this little town and sell their yummy delights and creative, country and primitive crafts. Years ago, my dad and mom would set up their plain and simple little stand and sell their pop guns, rocking fishermen, little girls and boys on swings and many wooden lawn ornaments. They did this for many years and enjoyed and anticipated this popular event.
My poppa would often tell me that all things must come to an end and eventually my parents moved out of town to help take care of my mom's aunt and uncle who were sick at the time. At their new home, my dad no longer had a place to do his wood work and it was at that time he picked up another hobby which was going to yard/garage sales and the Hazen Flea Market up near Dubois, PA. He enjoyed buying up other peoples junk and then reselling it on ebay. My mom wasn't as excited about this new found hobby/adventure of his because his computer room and little garage could get quite junked up resembling that of TLC's hoarders~ha ha! My mom was never one for clutter, but she loved my dad and just tried to close her eyes and pretend that she couldn't see his room full of treasures as she would make her way pass his special little room and she would avoid his garage at all costs!
Last year during Country Memories Day, dad and I went out and tried to find some bargains. He hadn't seemed quite into his ebay hobby like he use to be and he had started to quit going to the flea market that he once loved. Deep down in my heart I knew that dad wasn't well, but I didn't want to accept those feelings and I would force them out of my mind. I talked dad into going out to the yardsales that lined the road going up to McVeytown and it was then that I really noticed my dad's health getting worse. It took all that he had to get in and out of the car, but he did it and I think he just knew deep down that it would be his last time that he and I would go and do this together. We ended our day by going to Harshbarger's in McVeytown and we got some icecream. We usually had banana splits, but that day we just had icecream cones as dad's appetite was really declining due to the cancer that was taking over his body and his bad heart that we didn't know of at the time. Dad and I loved going to yard/garage sales, the Hazen Flea Market, etc...it was our special father/daughter bonding time, but dad was right, I knew that this special hobby/adventure that we shared together was coming to an end.
I cried a lot this weekend feeling so homesick for my dad, telling my mom that sometimes I just miss him so much that I would be willing to take back even my sickly dad just to hug him or hear him again. But, last night I had a dream that I was lying beside my dad talking to him and he asked me to get him something to eat (meatloaf and mashed potatoes to be exact) because he wasn't feeling nauseous and he wanted to hurry up and eat something before he got sick again. When I woke up this morning this dream made me realize that I wouldn't want my dad back if he had to be sick again, but rather, I want to do everything I can to remember and honor the life and special memories of my dad.
I am definately not a perfect person and I am constantly making mistake after mistake, but I do believe in Jesus Christ and thankfully Jesus forgives us no matter what we have done if we are truly sorry and He promises that if we believe in Him and if we should die, we will have an eternal life in Heaven where there will be no more sickness, sadness or death. My dad eventually became a believer about two years before he died and I have tried to think about what his new life in Heaven might be like. How he is no longer sick and how he can walk again. He's living yet a new adventure and someday we will be together again enjoying this adventure with each other.
